I learned many new things in class this week. One of the major things that I learned was that it is ok to want things in my life. For so long my life has revolved around my kids. When I had to list 50 things I wanted to do on a bucket list I froze. I was able to easily name about 10 things and then thought, "Yeah, thats all I want from life." I had to do some serious self examination in order to come up with 50 things. As I did, I got to discover myself. Knowing myself will be important as I move forward.
As a child I had some general ideas of what I would do with my future. I knew that one day I would leave home and go to BYU. I would pick a medical career as a major, probably pre-med to start. I would do well and get accepted to any medical school I would want to attend. Even though I knew all of these things were in my future, I would not say that they were my dreams. I really only had one dream as a young girl, and that was to be a mother. I would do these other things, but they would only be temporary. I knew that when the right opportunity came along I would marry and quit working on the rest. After completing my Associates Degree, I started my family. From that point on I have been living my dream. My husband works hard and provides a life for us where I get to stay at home with my kids. This is what I have always dreamed of doing. Now that I have been at this for almost 18 year I find that this dream of mine has turned out quite different than I expected it to be. Instead of a house full of girls all with matching dresses and fancy hairdos, I have four boys with dirty faces and dirtier rooms. I have a daughter but she can hold her own quite will in a room full of boys. Although I do find this realized version of my dream to be quite fulfilling, I do find myself starting to think again of the future. This motherhood dream will be vastly different in the next 10 years as my children start to leave home. At that point who will I be? What will my identity look like? As this approaches I found myself looking back on a younger version of myself who knew what she could be, but gave it all up for what she wanted to be. Now I know who I am, but find myself asking who can I be? I have many skills but do they translate outside of my own home? As I have struggled to figure out the answers to these questions one thing keeps coming back to my mind. I love to organize things. I love to take chaos and turn it into something usable, beautiful, and peaceful. I have a real knack for it too. When I get overwhelmed at home I can turn to the messiest closet in the house, give it a lift and then the rest of my workload doesn't seem so overwhelming. Organizing things brings me peace. As I consider this a new dream has started to grow in my heart. I would really like to be a professional organizer. I would like to go into a business and help them utilize their space better to make things run more efficiently. I would like to go into a home where they feel there is not enough space and teach them how to use the space that is there to make a home run with ease. I would even like to work in more extreme cases where people need to overhaul an entire space and start over. This dream doesn't feel as obtainable as being a mother once did. But I think with enough work and dedication I can make it a reality.
Dreaming is so important. Without a dream to look forward to I would feel lost as my life changes dramatically over then next few years. The dreams will see me through even if they don't all come about. Like Randy Pausch I achieved my childhood dream. He was able to achieve his dreams through supportive parents, staying focused, and working hard. He also had a solid list of what his dreams were. Without a list they would have been forgotten about. I believe the same formula will see me through to achieve my new dreams.
As a child I had some general ideas of what I would do with my future. I knew that one day I would leave home and go to BYU. I would pick a medical career as a major, probably pre-med to start. I would do well and get accepted to any medical school I would want to attend. Even though I knew all of these things were in my future, I would not say that they were my dreams. I really only had one dream as a young girl, and that was to be a mother. I would do these other things, but they would only be temporary. I knew that when the right opportunity came along I would marry and quit working on the rest. After completing my Associates Degree, I started my family. From that point on I have been living my dream. My husband works hard and provides a life for us where I get to stay at home with my kids. This is what I have always dreamed of doing. Now that I have been at this for almost 18 year I find that this dream of mine has turned out quite different than I expected it to be. Instead of a house full of girls all with matching dresses and fancy hairdos, I have four boys with dirty faces and dirtier rooms. I have a daughter but she can hold her own quite will in a room full of boys. Although I do find this realized version of my dream to be quite fulfilling, I do find myself starting to think again of the future. This motherhood dream will be vastly different in the next 10 years as my children start to leave home. At that point who will I be? What will my identity look like? As this approaches I found myself looking back on a younger version of myself who knew what she could be, but gave it all up for what she wanted to be. Now I know who I am, but find myself asking who can I be? I have many skills but do they translate outside of my own home? As I have struggled to figure out the answers to these questions one thing keeps coming back to my mind. I love to organize things. I love to take chaos and turn it into something usable, beautiful, and peaceful. I have a real knack for it too. When I get overwhelmed at home I can turn to the messiest closet in the house, give it a lift and then the rest of my workload doesn't seem so overwhelming. Organizing things brings me peace. As I consider this a new dream has started to grow in my heart. I would really like to be a professional organizer. I would like to go into a business and help them utilize their space better to make things run more efficiently. I would like to go into a home where they feel there is not enough space and teach them how to use the space that is there to make a home run with ease. I would even like to work in more extreme cases where people need to overhaul an entire space and start over. This dream doesn't feel as obtainable as being a mother once did. But I think with enough work and dedication I can make it a reality.
Dreaming is so important. Without a dream to look forward to I would feel lost as my life changes dramatically over then next few years. The dreams will see me through even if they don't all come about. Like Randy Pausch I achieved my childhood dream. He was able to achieve his dreams through supportive parents, staying focused, and working hard. He also had a solid list of what his dreams were. Without a list they would have been forgotten about. I believe the same formula will see me through to achieve my new dreams.
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